Q & A in a state of emergency

“State of emergency signed by GMA.” A text read which I received 11:39 am of February 24. I was then in a building somewhere in Makati, attending the second day of a two-day forum. Mixed with the alarm over the state of our country was the alarm I felt over an event I was supposed to attend that night. Will it push through or not?

“It” was a post-valentine event sponsored by a professionals group based in Quezon City, a good one hour away (sans traffic) from where I was. I received the invitation to sit on a panel weeks earlier; the panel consisting of a married couple, a single guy and me. To help remind me in the future that this is how I once felt about love and the single life, let me post and abbreviate a few of the Q & A's:

How would a guy know if it’s the right time to court?
Do you know enough about the girl to say what makes her happy and sad; what makes her laugh and what makes her cry? Think of yourselves as a student of the girl. If an exam was given about her, would you pass? If not, then it might not be the right time. We women want to be loved for who we are; not for who you think we are.

Previously you had a relationship (and a close friendship) . . . was it a good closure? What important lesson did you learn from it?
You enter into a relationship with the hope that it'll be for keeps. But in our not-so-perfect world, breakups do happen. What I learned from these aborted attachments is simply this: what it means to love and be loved. I’ve realized that the best way to learn how to love is by actually doing it and not just by reading about it. When the relationship ended, it doesn't have to necessarily mean that the other is a bad person. It's just that the relationship didn't work out. I was telling somebody who broke up with his girlfriend that it was okay to still talk with her. Time and a forgiving heart can help you sift through the rubble of a failed relationship.

What advice can you give to unattached singles?
Don't spend your days thinking,"If only I'm married, I would..." Refuse to live your lives on hold. Jim Elliot said, ''Wherever you are, be all there." Fully engage yourself in the moment and don’t be halfhearted about life. Married people sometimes envy us because we have a lot of time in our hands. Let's put this privilege to good use: develop ourselves, discover what we're good at, learn new skills, polish our character, make a difference.

Thank God for making me "me," and not the president of a crises-crazy country such as ours. In a state of emergency, this is the state of my heart. Life's still good after all.