At Gloria Jean's
On my way home from a publicity stint at a teachers' seminar, I decide to stop by Gloria Jean's. Partly to escape the house which feels more like an oven; mainly to use the borrowed PDA keyboard from my silly and serious techie friend Aleks. I figured, as long as it's with me, I'm going to use it every minute I could. Like now.
Not particularly fond of coffee, I order the Green Tea latte. I grimace at my first sip--it tastes like there are actually dried tea leaves in my 12-ounce plastic cup(I was hopeful when I saw its picture, imagining it would taste less like real tea and more like C2). Nevertheless, I still give it a chance. I will try to drink all the way to the last drop while I convince myself, "Green tea is good for me...green tea is good for me." The honey-dipped doughnut saves my otherwise dismal late-afternoon snack.
With the many thoughts swirling in my mind, I couldn't catch one to pin down. Not that one, Beng, too personal. After writing three paragraphs about a sensitive topic, I felt trepid about it and save the paragraphs. Maybe for later.
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Last night, after reading the introduction of The Bible Jesus Read, I turned straight to the chapter about Job. Philip Yancey contends that the book of Job--though tackling the man's series of misfortunes and hardships--is less about suffering than it is about faith. Here was a blameless and upright man who suddenly becomes the object of a divine wager. Satan accuses God, "This man Job believes in you only because you give him everything on a silver platter. Take away everything from him and let's see if he'll still love you (my paraphrase)." God accepts the challenge and allows Satan to touch everything around Job, including his health, as they both watch who between the two of them are right. On trial: God's name.
The lack of space hinders me from writing a long discourse about this enigma of Job's life. Besides, how could my puddle of thoughts compare with Yancey's ocean? But here's what struck me: What if God's name is on trial in my life? What if Satan accuses God in the same way about me: that I believe in God only because of the good things He is giving me? Or what if Satan dangles a Turkish delight in my face, knowing that if and when I take a bite, it would be like him being able to slap God's face? ("She said she'd honor you with her heart? Look at how she's dishonoring you now!")
I search my heart and tremble at the hypothetical scenario. I love God but do I love Him enough? I have faith but is it securely fastened not to be blown away when the winds of adversity storm?
Do I, like Job, have the faith it takes to let God win every time?
I don't know.
But this I know: I can ask God for a good memory. I can ask God not to make me forget His many acts of kindness in my life. Memories of when He patiently waited for me to come home while I wandered off; memories of when He redeemed me from the consequences of my sins; memories of when He surprised me with unexpected and extravagant gifts.
When all is suddenly lost from my life, I will have my memories of God's goodness. I will have a portrait of His love. I will have a treasure box of His miracles.
I can never be sure about my faith--that it will always hold up when doubts assail it. But if my memory serves me right, I can always be sure about my God.
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Looking outside, I see that the sun has already punched out with the moon reporting for the night shift. I'm ready to pack the PDA and keyboard and finally head for home. An afternoon well-spent with Tungsten and Targus.
Labels:
Faith
18 comments:
nalani said:
it's interesting, ate. my BS teacher also cited Job last week. her reflection: Job was like an onion stripped layer after layer to see what really was beneath. what was found was genuine, solid faith for his God. then she threw this question, "pano kapag tayo naman yung tinanggalan ng layers? what would God see beneath?"
indeed, we could only depend on God's unchanging goodness.:)
That's a good analogy too, Daph. Thanks for sharing. :-)Actually,I was somewhat hesitating while writing these lines. Because I'm afraid that my faith won't hold up. Many "what-ifs" ran through my mind.Yet I rest in the assurance that our all-knowing and all-loving God won't give us more than what we can bear.
I agree, sister, that we could only depend on God's unchanging goodness.Amen!
Job was a "blameless and upright man". I've often wondered how that kind of person would look like in this day and age.
On a lighter note, did i tell u, beng, that my keyboard records keystrokes? Implication: Your personal essays can be reconstructed. Gasp!
Of course I'm kidding ;)
bow ako kay Job. bow. ;)
if kaye and ivy think of Batad during hard times, Job has been my inspiration during mine.[di man macompare yung mga pinagdadaanan ko sa mga experiences nya...]funny, kakatapos ko lang basahin ulit yung When Everything Goes Wrong ni Manong Willie. andun din si Job. :)
Job is also Yancey's subject in his book, Disappointment with God. Job becomes the archetype of our existence - trying to scratch a living, clueless and trying hard to come into terms with the great mystery that happening all around. Yancey points out that when He confronted Job with His questions, He does not provide an answer. He does not explain. He simply affirmed His presence and sovereignty. We often think that when we have the answers to the why of our lives that we would feel better, or somehow able to bear with our sufferings. But there is no assurance of that. We also assume that when God explains or tells us the answers to our questions that we would, in our finite human capabilities, understand His wisdom.
I have tried Gloria Jean's green tea in what might be called a frap. It tasted like...green tea...hehehe. This is what I can say about that drink: I'd stick to coffee. Gloria Jean coffee is quite good, actually.
Hi Aleks,
Job in this day and age? I know many men and women who’ve gone through extremely difficult times but I’m not sure if they can quite compare with Job.
Your keyboard records keystrokes? Before you could have it back and reconstruct my personal essays, should I tell you that I’ve already reconstructed yours?
Of course, I’m kidding too ;)
Glads, oo nga. Bow din ako kay Job. He is one exemplary model of faith. The next time you'll go through a tough time (which I hope is far into the future pa), while you're thinking of Job, maybe I could help too. :-)
WBG's book is also inspiring, though relatively short.
Pstr. Bong, yes, Yancey mentioned his book Disappointment with God in this other book's chapter about Job. Have you read The Bible Jesus Read? Just in case, you could borrow my copy. Thanks for sharing your thoughtful reflections on Job. Worth considering. Enigma talaga si Job.
On the Green Tea Latte--NEVER again. hehe. I should have trusted my instinct when I read Gloria Jean's COFFEE, which meant they're into coffees and NOT green teas and stuff. I was there for the ambiance though I occasionally drink coffee naman, fraps usually.
God knew how it would turn out. And always for the good of those who love Him, whom He has called to be His children. And all for His glory. But it IS hard to believe when we're in the middle of a trying situation. That's why we need many reminders of God's love: Bible, church, family and friends, good coffee...hehe :)
Hi Ben, your faith, my friend, is inspiring too. The only thing that can hold us up, most of the time, is the knowledge of who God is. That He always acts consistent with His character. Sometimes, in the wake of unfulfilled desires, I mutter to myself, "Lord, I may not have _____ but I have You."
BTW, how did coffee make it to the list of the reminders of God's love? Hehe. Even if I'm drinking awful-tasting green tea, I will still have a reason to believe that God loves me. Kamusta?
ate beng, your writings are constant reminders. thank God for bloggers like you. :)
God bless po! :)
Hi Riz, thanks for the comment. I am also a fellow learner, lest you mistake I have all the answers. Keep on blogging and touch more people's lives too! God bless you too. :-)
hi, Beng. this one made me remember my prayer this morning...na sana the Lord won't be ashamed to be called my God today. it reminded me also of the subject of one of my favorite books, THE PRISONER IN THE THIRD CELL: if God doesn't meet our expectations, will we still worship Him? maybe when we understand that God doesn't need to explain Himself for every single hardship that befalls us, we will strive, with faith, to go on. why doesn't He need to explain Himself? Just because He is God. what other reason do we need? our comfort is in knowing that all that He does is good for us ... as Jesus said - "Blessed are those who are not offended by Me."
thanks again for this one, Beng! have a great weekend!--ritchie
The only thing that I could say is fight for the weaknesses and turn it into strength! God is there to help you!
Hi Ritchie, salamat sa pagbisita. Prisoner in the Third Cell sounds like a good book. Would you care to lend it to me sometime? :-)
Yes, God doesn't need to explain Himself to us. Hopefully, we'll all learn how to trust Him in His silence. Thanks for the thoughts.
Kuya Audie, I agree. I don't need all the riches in the world; only God's approval. Thank God for Jesus, through whom we are made righteous. :-)
Arnold, thanks for the encouragement. :-)
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