Day 12
It’s everywhere. I watch TV and I see this Goldilocks ad with a woman taking out a black forest cake from the ref. I scan through today’s Philippine Starweek and a feature on The Last Chocolatier greets me. Why is it that after you’ve decided to swear off something, this very thing taunts you and makes its presence felt as if saying, “Hey, don’t you miss me?”
And if I may answer back, “You know I do.” Like crazy.
The first few days after I’ve declared my self-imposed 30-day choco fasting were peanuts. For two consecutive days, I’ve had opportunities to sink my teeth into two varieties of chocolate and I’ve turned my back on them. How hard can that be? After all, my tongue can still remember the taste of the three months’ worth of chocolates that has passed its fibrous road. Now, on my twelfth day, I’m miserable. Miserable enough to wonder, “Why did I ever decide to give it up in the first place? Is there anything inherently sinful about chocolates? It’s not as if I’m taking Ecstasy or smoking marijuana. Did God even want me to do this chocolate fasting?”
I count the days, like a little girl counting the days till Christmas. Day 12 of 30! I’m not even halfway through. How will I possibly make it through the next eighteen days when thoughts of McDonald’s hot fudge sundae, Nestle crunch, chocolate cake—any kind, and other eatable chocolates dance in my head like John Travolta doing his signature moves in Saturday Night Fever? (Now where did that metaphor come from? I plead temporary insanity, your honor.)
Forgive my ranting. Withdrawal symptom, I guess, alongside the headaches and depression. Yet my fleeting doubts notwithstanding, I know I am still convinced why I'm doing what I'm doing. If this small sacrifice can help me honor God with my body, then I know He will honor the heart behind it and give me the strength to make it. I love God more than all the chocolates in the world.
So when you see me in the hallway and you’ve got a chocolate, do me a favor: Don’t let me see it. :-) I’ve got a serious chocolate battle to win.
Labels:
Chocolates and Other Loves
5 comments:
wow.
i had no idea you had such an affinity for chocolates. anyway, this form of self-torture does have its benefits.
i just hope the benefits get to you before insanity sets in. hehehe. just kidding!
Hi Olive, yeah, i hope so too. I'm a little afraid though coz I am already experiencing the symptoms. I should have a memory verse, a revised version of Job 31:1:
"I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at chocolates." haha. :-)
You can do it Beng! It has its benefits for your body ( great way to lose weight!). And how can I honor my promise to feed you some chocolates if you do not finish your choco fasting? Hehehe :- )
Beng you're now half way through! Congratulations! (Mar.23 na) You'll make it. Hmmm, you want to try to avoid the topic, maybe that will help. Talk about something else, like Boy Bawang. Amazing what marketing can do to the ordinary kornik–just put a catchy name and a mascot, sikat na siya. :)
Jen,thanks for the encouragement! Now, you better start thinking where we're going to feed me chocolates! :-)
Ben, thanks din. Hmm, Boy Bawang? I haven't developed any emotional attachment yet to Boy Bawang for me to be able to write about it. Yeah, you're right about it being a marketing success. :-)
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